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What are some funny jokes to tell during technical difficulties at an 8th grade talent show?

Talent show is FRIDAY, and we are sure to have technical difficulties! We are planning to make our class president tell the jokes. Age appropiate please!! My wierd science teacher wants us to tell science jokes...like, gold and alumminum walk into a bar, and gold says Au!!! Ha Ha. Get it HEY YOU? Au? Alumminum??? not funny Anything is better than that

Public Comments

1. Any time I visit a Comedy Club, the performers seem to get most of their laughs when they use the "F" word... Have 'em say anything they like... and sprinkle in a few "F" words... Hi Folks... Sorry for the delay... but it looks like we're having another effing problem up there in the booth. As soon as the technicians figure out what the "F" is going on, we'll get right back to the show. Thanks for your patience.
2. blame it on the last preformer "it was so good it blew a fuse" pick up some radio say that someone went early. spilt coffee
3. mark's answer is true... i started laughing as soon as i read it...
4. Joke statement: You should never take candy from a stranger Unless he offers you a ride!